Comfort = Being with our womb mates Just like most people feel comfortable in their favorite sweats, slippers, and watching mind numbing television like “The Kardashians”….we feel this comfort with the sharers de la womb.
Let us Explain... ...we are kind of annoying and unsettled until we are in each other’s presence…YES…Even at age 30. Just like Leonardo had to connect with Kate in the Freezing Cold waters next to the sinking titanic, we will seek each other out in a similar panicked fashion…however, unlike LEO , we are not dumb a$$es. We will ensure we all survive, by distributing our weight evenly on the board and huddled for warmth! (I mean, is there another option???).
You can bet your ass that when we are not together we will talk about each other constantly and use “we” statements to bring ourselves comfort until we are reunited and whole again…I mean could or would you expect anything less?
We assume that in a non-multiple's brains, it is not “normal” for US to live together. In a multiple's mind, this is a pretty realistic plan (even with spouses and children). But since we have to go along with society's norms, we shall live in our separate dwellings. However our loved ones will have to put up with our antics; to include frequent slumber parties, dinner and lunch dates, and conjoined holidays. Since we have already given up the idea of living together, we are not willing to compromise…That my friends would really be TOOUNCOMFORTABLE.
Problems = Group issues that must be felt and worked through as a unit.
We don’t have just our own problems…yup you guessed it…our womb mates problem's are equally as important/annoying/and time consuming as personal problems. …And I’m not talking “OMG Jenna ran out of eye liner today” problems…Don’t get me wrong, I am still concerned for her and would totally be willing to drive 30 minutes out of my way to let her use mine, risk being late for work, and stress myself out so she could look alive on this given day, because let’s face it – A LITTLE EYE LINER NEVER KILLED ANYONE!
The real problems I am talking aboutare emotionally taxing ones. The concept that someone else’s problems can be as equally as important as your own personal problems is beyond foreign to some people. These people tend to say “Relax, it’s not your problem”.
to thatwe say “Bull S#!t!” and “I Wish!”.
Problems are not particularly enjoyable for multiples, but it comes with the territory.
How about an example.
When Mary Kate Olson was looking like skeletor and in some serious need of a cheeseburger(or 10), you can bet your a$$, Ashley Olson felt her own rib cage starting to show and would have killed someone for some fries smothered in cheese and gravy…because just like Mary Kate was LITERALLY starving, Ashley was starving as well, THROUGH EMOTIONAL TELEPATHY.
EMOTIONAL TELEPATHY IS WHAT CAUSES ONE MULTIPLE'S PROBLEM TO BE A PROBLEM FOR ALL WOMB SHARERS.
A great example of sharing problems is when it comes to womb mates dealing with break ups…or as I like to call it; TORTURE for multiples. Let me explain....
I, “myself” (whatever that means), have been through one break up…I got super depressed…but fantastically skinny (nothing beats a break up diet…no work…instant results!), but as a multiple I have been through 6 break ups ( Krista you have been draining on us all .haha). My husband cannot fathom why as a married adult I could not eat or sleep while one of my womb mates was going through a break up.
ANSWER: YOU CAN'T SHUT OFF EMOTIONAL TELEPATHY.
You must deal with it!
Advice: If you are in a relationship or friends with a multiple, my advice to you; ride out the emotional telepathy roller coaster. Don’t say things like “Don’t worry about it” or the dreaded, “It’s not like it’s you”. You might get throat punched…or at least that’s the vision that is playing out in our heads.
But to end on a more positive note...
One multiple's success, triumph, happiness, lottery winnings, and etc. belong to the group. Sure you might have double, triple, or quadruple the problems, but you also have that much more joy. We will save that for another Blog entry.